The Grass is Greenest Here
by Super Puppy
Summary: JamesxGardenia: 90s sitcom style. Need I say more? My first ever Grasslovershipping story! This one’s for you, KK.
1. Prologue

**Prologue:**

Welcome one and all to _The Grass is Greenest Here_, my first ever Grasslovershipping story! (Wow Puppy, a grass pun for a title? How original.)

I think this story would best be read with a bit of background information, so here are a few things to note:

This story is supposed to be a sitcom knock-off, as the summary states. If you've never seen a sitcom or don't know what that is, no worries. This should still be fine as a standalone story.

This is rated T for a reason. Now, my last fic was also rated T, but that was pretty much just for language. This one is probably going to have a lot more adult situations and whatnot, so be careful. Nothing explicit or anything like that though, I promise.

The roles that I give the characters in this story are given ONLY because they fit the layout of the classic sitcom parts. It doesn't reflect my views about them or anything like that. Along those same lines, other shippings (aside from Grasslovershipping) may pop up from time to time, simply because multiple romances appear in most sitcoms. And it's funny. That doesn't necessarily mean I support them.

So there's no confusion of who's who, here's the main cast and who they play in the context of the story:

James: Husband (3)

Gardenia: Wife

Brock: Maid (deal with it)

Meowth: Jessie's talking Pokemon

Jessie: Neighbor and James' childhood friend

Ash, Misty: Adopted kids (not actually related to each other, or anyone else in the story)

Pikachu: Ash and Misty's Pokemon (he belongs to both of them in this one)

This story takes place in a universe that's sort of a cross between our world and the Pokemon world. Like, they live in earthly places and lead earthly lives, but everyone has Pokemon too.

**Chapter One Preview:**

James attempted to shift the bags of groceries in his arms to one hand as he unlocked the door to his house. After fumbling with the keys for several seconds, one of the bags slipped and the boxes of crackers ended up on the ground.

"Ugh… stupid crackers…" He groaned, shifting the bags to his knee. This time, he managed to open the door and practically fell inside.

"Hey honey!" He called as he entered.

"Hi sweetums." Brock answered sarcastically, looking up from the TV.

James threw the bag of chips at him. "Where's Gardenia?"

"Probably out playing with Cacnea. She's been trying to teach him some new attacks."

"Ooh, when she gets going on something like that it's impossible to tear her away." James sighed dejectedly and hung his head.

Brock laughed at him, and James sulked deeper.

Just then, the door opened again. "Hiiiii, everyone!" Jessie announced her presence, spinning into the room.

"You keep doing that I'm gonna change the locks!" Brock threatened.

"What are you so happy about, anyway?" James grumbled.

"I have a date tonight!"

"Poor guy." Meowth said, shaking his head as he Followed Jessie into the house.

"QUIET YOU!" Jessie stomped on his head.

"Just sayin'…" Meowth moaned.

**Full chapter coming tomorrow! Stay tuned, folks!**


	2. Episode One

_To my reviewers:_

_Koichi_: Hehehe, I'm worried about the public reaction to some of 'em, so thanks. I doubt there's gonna be Pokeshipping since they're adopted siblings. But after all, you were the one who inspired me to make my last fic yaoi, so what can I say?

**Episode One**

James attempted to shift the bags of groceries in his arms to one hand as he unlocked the door to his house. After fumbling with the keys for several seconds, one of the bags slipped and the boxes of crackers ended up on the ground.

"Ugh… stupid crackers…" He groaned, shifting the bags to his knee. This time, he managed to open the door and practically fell inside.

"Hey honey!" He called as he entered.

"Hi sweetums." Brock answered sarcastically, looking up from the TV.

James threw the bag of chips at him. "Where's Gardenia?"

"Probably out playing with Cacnea. She's been trying to teach him some new attacks."

"Ooh, when she gets going on something like that it's impossible to tear her away." James sighed dejectedly and hung his head.

Brock laughed at him, and James sulked deeper.

Just then, the door opened again. "Hiiiii, everyone!" Jessie announced her presence, spinning into the room.

"You keep doing that I'm gonna change the locks!" Brock threatened.

"What are you so happy about, anyway?" James grumbled.

"I have a date tonight!"

"Poor guy." Meowth said, shaking his head as he Followed Jessie into the house.

"QUIET YOU!" Jessie stomped on his head.

"Just sayin'…" Meowth moaned.

"So how'd you talk anyone into going on a date with you, anyway?" Brock inquired, turning around.

"If you must know, it's a blind date. One of my friends set me up."

"Dat guy'd better hope he's blind!" Meowth cackled.

Jessie turned red and wheeled around to face Meowth. "I've had just about enough of you!"

"Yaaaah! Don't kill your friend Meowth!" Meowth screeched, dashing between Jessie's legs and scrambling out of the room.

"Get back here you stupid son-of-a—" She was cut off as the door slammed shut behind her.

James was chuckling. "Well, I feel better. What was I sad about, anyway?"

"Your wife likes a cactus more than you."

James crossed his arms and pouted. "Don't you have something to clean?"

"Hey, I'm done for the day. Unless I get a raise?"

"Hey, I wonder where Ash and Misty are. Shouldn't they be home from school by now?"

"Yeah, that's what I thought…" Brock grumbled.

James just scoffed at him. "Hmph, like I can afford that anyway."

"Get a real job." Brock suggested

"Shut up! I have a real job."

"Barely."

There was a sudden thumping noise that distracted the men from their argument. The door shot open with a bang as it ricocheted off the wall behind it, revealing Ash and Misty nearly knocking each other over to get in the door. Misty stepped on Ash's foot and tripped him, then leapt over his head and into the room.

"Mmph, oww… no fair…" Ash groaned from his uncomfortable spot on floor in the doorway.

"Ha! I got here first!" Misty taunted in a singsong voice.

"Only because you tripped me!" Ash shot back.

"Quiet you…"

"I'm afraid to ask, but what are you two doing?" James asked, looking slightly afraid.

"Ash bet me that he could beat me home on foot when I took the bus!"

"And I would've won, if you hadn't knocked me over. I was ahead most of the way! Wasn't I, Pikachu?" Ash turned to the lightning mouse that had followed them in the door.

_She won. Fucking deal with it._ Pikachu thought irritably.

"Hey, how's about I make you kids some sandwiches and you stop fighting so loud?" Brock offered.

"Okay Brock!" They answered in unison, and followed him into the kitchen.

James watched them and grinned to himself. _Now, to steal Brock's seat on the couch._

"Oh Jaaaaaaaaaaames?" Ah high, sweet voice rang out through the halls.

_Or not._ "Yes?" He called back, trying to sound just as sweet.

Gardenia popped her head around the corner and grinned. "Come see Cacnea!"

"Ohhhh, now what have you done?"

Their conversation was interrupted (again) by the grating voice of their favorite feline friend. "Aaaaaah! I didn't mean it I didn't mean it I didn't mean it! Don't take it out on Meowth!"

"HOW DARE YOU CALL MY HAIR UGLY!" Jessie's shriek echoed through the walls of their house. The door flew open as Meowth came dashing in. He quickly scuttled over the couch in the middle of the room and grabbed James' ankle, cowering behind it.

Gardenia pouted. "Can't you two stay out of our house for five minutes?"

"Hmph, why? Our place's a dump!" Meowth laughed.

"Okay, where is he!?" Jessie was at the doorway in a battle stance.

"You just missed him." James responded in a deadpan voice, sweatdropping.

"I'll get you!" She raged, dashing back outside.

"Thanks Jim, I owe ya one." Meowth patted James' leg.

"Yeah, you're damn right you do." James grumbled. "Sometimes I think we should move."

"Aww, you know we'd just follow youse guys."

James sighed dejectedly, and Meowth laughed at him.

**To be Continued!**


	3. Episode Two

_To my reviewers:_

_Koichi:_ Oh, I'm pretty glad you did, hehehe. Yeah, I knew I had to bring back the Pikachu. He was everyone's favorite.

_Random:_ Yeah, I kinda figured. I like the pairing myself, I suppose, as well. Well my other story barely classifies as Yaoi (but it's still awesome), but if you want to read it, it's called "What did he say? What did she say?"

**Episode Two**

"Ooh, which earrings to wear…" Jessie mused to herself, staring intently at her reflection in the mirror. "And what to do with my hair? Oh!" She cried, resting her forehead against the glass in defeat.

The clock from the next room began to chime, making her leap out of her fashion slump.

"Ohmygods! I'm gonna be late!" She quickly finished getting ready, attempting to brush her hair and put on her shoes at the same time and ending up with a stiletto stuck in her hair.

Her antics were interrupted by her door being thrown open, revealing Misty gripping Meowth by his neck scruff. "Go be stupid somewhere else!" She hurled him into the apartment, then looked up at Jessie, who was staring at Meowth amusedly.

"Oh, hi there. Going out?" Misty asked.

"Yeah! I have a blind date!" Jessie squealed, winking.

Misty grinned. "Lookin' good!" She gave her the thumbs up.

Jessie laughed.

Meowth picked himself up off the ground. "Youse twos bein' nice to eachother? What's goin' on here? Wake me from dis nightmare!" Meowth burst into dramatic tears.

Misty rolled her eyes. "Well, bye." She flashed another grin and stepped out, leaving the two hyperactive roommates alone.

Just then, the buzzer near the door went off, and Jessie leapt over to push the button. "Jessie?" A wobbly voice came through the speaker. "Hi there. My name's Wally. I'm your date tonight, I guess." He gave a nervous chuckle.

"Ooh, I'll be right down!" Jessie said in her most syrupy-sweet voice. She went spinning out the door without so much as a 'goodbye' to Meowth, who by this point had dragged himself over the piles of clutter to plop down on an overly-soft easy chair and doze off.

_Elsewhere:_

"Oww, stupid bruises." Ash moaned, dropping his sandwich.

Brock looked up at Ash, concerned. "What happened to you?"

"Oh, nothing." He said quickly. "Just tripped over the curb earlier."

Misty reentered the room, grinning. "Got rid of the cat."

"And for that, we are eternally grateful." Brock said sarcastically, adding an exaggerated hand flourish and bow.

Ash laughed, more grateful for the change of subject then anything else. He clapped his hands, but stopped quickly when he banged another bruise.

"Oh, did that stupid bully get to ya again?" Misty asked, oblivious to the fact that Ash was trying not to tell the others.

"Misty! Shhh!" Ash snapped. He shot a quick glance at Brock, then whispered. "On't-day ell-tay e-thay adults-ay.*" He hissed through his teeth.

(*Translation for the readers who not fluent in Pig Latin: _Don't tell the adults_.)

"Yeah, now I'll never find out!" Brock said with mock enthusiasm.

Ash crossed his arms and huffed.

"Oh, he's just embarrassed because he always gets into disputes with this kid who's tougher then him." Misty said nonchalantly.

"That stupid Gary punk is not tougher then me!" Ash asserted.

_That's like saying Chuck Norris isn't stronger then a bottle of hairspray._ Pikachu thought bitterly.

"So how come every time you pick a fight with him you end up losing?" Misty inquired smugly.

Brock choked on his drink.

Ash facepalmed. "Will you shut up?"

"Hmm?" Misty asked with false innocence.

Brock cut in. "You've been picking fights?"

"Yes, I mean no. Well, it's complica – Mom!" Ash was relieved to end the awkward conversation as he saw Gardenia enter the room, followed by James, who was covered in needle pricks.

"Oh, hello Ash dear. Is something wrong?" Gardenia asked sweetly.

Brock piped up. "He's been getting into fights."

Ash turned to Brock. "Can you just go away or something?"

James peeked around at him. "Well, did ya win?"

"James!" Gardenia turned around and glared at him. "Don't encourage it!"

"What? I was just asking."

"He loses every time." Misty said, laughing.

"Shut up!" Ash snapped.

"Okay, that's enough." Gardenia said patiently. "Let's discuss this later."

_Elsewhere:_

"I'm sorry if you're bored. I'm not very interesting." Wally moped.

"No, no, it's fine." Jessie insisted, trying desperately to have a good time. "So, what do you do for a living?"

"I work with Psychic Pokemon."

"Well, that sounds interesting." Jessie attempted to keep the conversation going.

"It's not. I'm terrible at it, and the pay is almost nothing."

"Oh."

"I'm not funny. You might be thinking 'well, he doesn't have much going for him, but he probably has a good sense of humor.' But I don't."

Jessie downed her glass of wine in one gulp and reached to pour herself another.

**To be Continued**


	4. Episode Three

_To my reviewers:_

_Koichi:_ Yeah, I thought the James thing would be silly. Hehehe, I was always jealous of Wally when I played Pokemon because I wanted a Ralts and he got it on the first try.

_Random:_ Haha, indeed. I guess Wally is kinda cute, I never thought about that before. I guess it goes without saying that Jessie's had too much to drink.

_Suvi-sisko:_ Yep, that's the Wally. It is a good one, now that I think about it. Grasslovershipping FTW, right? Glad you're enjoying it!

**Episode Three**

"So Ash dear, would you like to tell me what's been going on?" Gardenia asked in her best sweet-but-firm voice. They had moved outside to the porch where Gardenia could have a small heart-to-heart with her adopted son.

Ash was pouting, his arms folded across his chest and his chin buried in his chest. "Kid at school. We don't get along. Fighting ensues. Happy?"

Gardenia sighed. "If you don't want to talk about it now, you don't have to. But these things don't just go away. And if I hear you keep getting into these fights, there will be consequences. Okay?"

"Yeah, whatever." Ash mumbled, and slipped away.

Gardenia sighed and stepped back into the house slowly behind him.

Brock and James were fighting over the "comfy armchair" while Misty spread out on the couch. They were all watching some lousy reality show on TV.

James perked up when Ash walked in, but then glanced at Gardenia's face and decided not to push it. Ash slinked over to the couch and plopped down unceremoniously next to Misty.

Their awkward silence was interrupted by a gentle knock on the door.

"I got it!" James sprang up, knocking Brock (who had decided to compromise by sitting on him) to the floor.

He opened the door to find Meowth, looking terrified.

"What happened to you?" James asked, obviously worried. Meowth was _never_ quiet.

"Jessie came home from her date. She was all… calm. I don't know what it means! I ain't never seen her calm before."

"Eep." James looked at him. "That usually means depression. The silence will be shortly be followed by an explosion, then tears, then anger. Then she'll get over it. That should all be over in a matter of about half an hour. I advise you stay here until then."

"Ya don't have ta tell me twice!"

_The following day…_

"Eeeek! Ash, we're late!" Misty shrieked. "Get _up_ you lazy oaf!" She chucked a shoe at him before realizing he needed it. She hopped over to his bed and picked it up, banging him on the head with it one last time before sticking it on her foot.

"All right, I'm up. Sheesh." Ash's muffled groan came from in his sheets.

"We're gonna miss the bus!" She dragged him out of bed.

"Okay, okay. Just go get breakfast, and I'll get dressed."

"Fine!" Misty sprang out of the room and towards the kitchen, where she planned to find something quick and edible. However, she was saved by Brock, who handed her two plates of food almost before she had a chance to stop running.

"Here, now don't be late or your mom and James will be mad."

"Thanks!" She bolted back towards the bedroom, shoveling her food in her mouth as she went. She stuffed breakfast into Ash's mouth and they both ran out the door to catch the bus.

"Well, bye to you too." Brock grumbled. He sat down and sipped a cup of coffee, now alone in the house since the others had already gone to work.

His momentary peace was shattered by the sound of Jessie banging through the front door, followed closely by an angry looking Meowth.

He sighed.

Another day.

**To be Continued**


End file.
